Men who get consistent sex with wives or girlfriends are men who have what it takes, which could be anything. Every woman is different, and different women find different things attractive about different men. Sadly, some husbands will not get sex from other women. In contrast, many wives find they have too many sexual opportunities, making time management their biggest problem. Some women find that the best way to make themselves and everyone else happy is to have sex with multiple men simultaneously. 

     Many women find that the men they hook up with want to share them with their friends. Jealousy isn't often a woman's issue. It is usually husbands and boyfriends who are jealous or resent that their wife or girlfriend can get sex so easily or that other men can get sex so easily from their wives or girlfriends. A wife may find a lover she prefers above all the others, and she'll prioritize him. Her lover may be single or married. He may also have fantasies you've had that your wife or girlfriend may make a reality or him. He may even get more sex than you do.

     When couples open their relationships, they have to be ready for all the changes that will occur, and the emotions that will surface. Women usually experience more happiness, more sex, more pleasure, and more fulfillment; whereas many men struggle with their emotions. Many men who want to open their relationships struggle to get sex with other women and often look to other men for sexual satisfaction. Yet, there are men who get sex from multiple women. What makes one man more sexually attractive than another? Often looks matter. His demeanor matters as well.

     No matter who the man is or what he looks like, if he reminds the wife or girlfriend of someone she's had amazing sex or experiences with , he'll get sex. His confidence and charisma may also get him sex. Open relationships aren't for everyone. Many couples look for people out of their league. Others look for what they can't get at home. Some just want something new. 

     To make an open relationship work, each partner must understand that one or the other may or may not get sex as often as they desire, and sometimes one partner may fall in love with a lover. When you open your relationship, you must understand that if your partner does fall in love with someone else that it doesn't mean they love you less. Your wife or girlfriend may talk about her lover often, even while having sex with you, but that only means she's comfortable enough to open up to you in that way.

     Opening your relationship will give you opportunities to talk openly about your wants, needs, and desires. There needs to be no judgement.   An open relationship can only work if both parties are supportive of the other, whether they are getting sex with or from others or not. If your wife or girlfriend is having sex with several other men, you need to feel proud that it is your wife or girlfriend they want to have sex with. If you are the wife or girlfriend, and your husband or boyfriend gets to have sex with another woman or man, let him know how proud you are because the other man or woman might get to have sex with him but he's Your husband or boyfriend.

        An open relationship works best when you can become friends with your partner's lover(s). You'll need to accept them as part of your relationship. Your wife or girlfriend, husband or boyfriend will be a happier person because of their lover(s) and your understanding of their needs and desires. There will be times when your partner needs to be with their lover(s). Their relationship with their lover(s) is as important as the relationship the two of you have. Neither you nor your partner's lover(s) is more important; your partner will love you and their lover(s) the same, although possibly in different ways. 

       If your partner falls in love with their lover(s), you may consider having them moving in. If this occurs, your open relationship may become polyamorous; meaning that you and your partner's lover(s) will be on a level playing field, although not often sexually. Many couples who have their partner's lover(s) move in with them find that their partner is happier more often. A partner's live-in lover(s) can be a valuable asset to a couple's relationship. Whether your partner's lover(s) move in or not, you need to see value in your partner's relationship(s) with their lover(s), and how and why your partner's happiness matters. 

     An open relationship only works when all involved are mentally and emotionally mature. You can't let perceived negative emotions control your actions. Feelings of jealousy, envy, and resentment may arise and need to be dealt with maturely and quickly. When you experience these feelings, you need to discuss them with your partner and their lover(s). Yours and your partner's and their lover's feelings are equally important. Like you, your partner's lover(s) may need alone time with your spouse, and you and they may have different needs and desires. Your partner may also do things with their lover(s) that they don't do with you, sexually and non-sexually. 

     Because your partner's relationships are adult, you must act like an adult. You can't act like a child when you don't get your way or your partner's lover(s) get something you don't. We are taught as children to share, which we sadly forget how to do as adults.  Life isn't fair, and some people get what others don't; that's how it is.  Your partner's lover(s) may provide them with something you don't or can't, and their love languages may differ from yours. Merriam-Webster defines empathy as The action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.  Some people call this compersion.

     In open relationships, one partner's wants, needs, and desires are often fulfilled vicariously, meaning a partner's lover(s) may physically experience what their primary partner can only experience in their mind. The benefit of experiencing pleasure vicariously is that it is free from the possibility of failure. As an onlooker, you are not liable for anything your partner's lover(s) do or don't do. Still, if your partner's lover(s) fulfill and satisfy them, you benefit from your partner's satisfaction and happiness that results from that fulfillment. 

     Let's say you wake up to your bed moving because your partner and their lover(s) are making love. Your partner has always said that making love is the best way to start a day. Therefore,  your partner having sex with their lover(s) first thing is a sign that it's already a good day. If your partner is already sexually satisfied by their lover(s) before you are even fully awake, their lover(s) have done all the hard work for you. Many couples choose to have live-in lovers for this reason.

     Couples who choose to have live-in lovers often find that their open relationship becomes polyamorous because emotions are involved; their lover(s) become additional partners instead of just sexual playmates.  This can occur whether a lover moves in or not. Often, a spouse will want to see their lover in the morning before work and then again after work or even spend the night. Relationships with lovers almost always include an NRE (New Relationship Energy) aspect lasting from six months to 2 to 5 years. 

     If a wife has feelings for a man or even a few men, she must become proficient in time management.  She may see one man in the morning, another at lunch, another after work, and then spend the night with another. The husband must understand the strain this puts his wife under and accept that during the NRE stage, he may not see or get to have sex with his wife as often as he might like.  In such situations, a wife may carry an overnight bag or keep clothes at her lover's house(s) and needs to schedule times when she and her husband can be together. 

      There may even be times when a wife or girlfriend vacations with a lover. When a lover moves out of state or travels often for work, a wife may spend extended periods away from her spouse. While away with her lover, a wife may find another man or other men to have sex with that does not detract from her relationships with her lover or her spouse or boyfriend.  Many women find that the more men they have sex with, the happier they are.

     If you are the husband or boyfriend and you find another woman to have sex or a relationship with, you can consider yourself fortunate. The woman you hook up with may have several other lovers, but at least you're getting your time in when she has the time for you. It is rare for a woman not to have plenty of sexual options and opportunities. She might be married or in a committed relationship, so her time is valuable.

     You must remember that many women today are not looking for commitment from men but, rather,  to have fun,  good times, and fulfilling sex with them, so you must provide them with something the other men aren't or can't.  Essentially, if you want to have sex or a relationship with a woman, you have to step up your game. 

       I may not have had sex with a lot of women during my first year of marriage, but the sex I had was good. The first woman I had sex with, Susan, was also married. Her husband had a girlfriend, and he had sex with her much more often than with his wife. On the other hand, she was seeing me and three other men. 

     Another woman I had sex with was one of my wife's best friends, Annie, one of Don's other lovers. Annie was an excellent lover, but she was also having sex with me, Don, and several other men. The third woman, Leslie, used to visit me at work, and we'd have sex while I was at work. I eventually discovered that Leslie had also sex with Don. She admitted that, like my wife, Don had gotten her gang banged numerous times.

     Leslie told me she never kept count of the men she had sex with, but Don had been getting her gang banged most weekends for two years, and there were usually six to eight guys each time. Leslie agreed that she'd likely had sex with around 700 men. Leslie, who had just turned twenty, told me she could see why my wife would be attracted to Don because of his charisma and the fact that he was pretty well hung.  She later admitted that she still slept with him on my days off, and Don would still got her gang banged.

     I was in the Air Force, and most of the men in my squadron had been with my wife. Leslie told me that most of the men she worked with and had sex with had also been with my wife and Annie. Don was well known on base because he'd gotten many of the Airmen laid.  When I told Don I was considering a second job, he said he knew someone who could help. I was a no-stripe Airman, so I was willing to accept any help.

     Don set up a meeting with me and a guy he knew who worked for a large hotel near the airport. When I met with the guy, he told me to suck him off. I was perplexed. He asked me if I wanted to make more money, and I said I did. He said he needed to know I was worth what he charged. I found out that he was offering sex to men who wanted it at the hotel, and I would be having sex with them if he hired me. During my first week working at the hotel, I made three times what the Air Force paid me monthly.

     Don did the same on the first weekend I worked at the hotel. That's when I found out he was also bi. I didn't know Don had a job. I wondered why he always had money but never seemed to work. Like me, Don was an escort, but he also had sex with my wife and several other women. I became popular at the hotel because I was fit and only nineteen years old. Don was in his thirties. It didn't take long for me to have regulars, some of whom I saw outside the hotel, who paid me well each time we got together. 

     Weekly, I had sex with an average of six to eight men, except for group nights when there were up to twenty-five guys. I worked through the hotel for eight months. In that time, I had sex with maybe three hundred men.  So, it wasn't like I wasn't having sex because I was, often, just with men. I admit that was the best job I ever had! And I had Don to thank, which is why I liked that my wife was having sex with him and letting him get her gang-banged.

     Don tried to get my wife to work through the hotel, too, but she said she would never have sex for money. I never told my wife, but Don admitted that he often got paid when he got my wife and other women gang-banged. He was their pimp, but they didn't know it. I liked knowing that some men were willing to pay to have sex with my eighteen-year-old wife. Yet, I was impressed by the number of men who got to have sex with her that didn't have to pay.

     Although the armed services considers adultery a crime, it occurs often, and everyone knows it.  Anyone who has ever been in the military knew who was walking the barracks and whose wife was the easiest. I remember one guy who was being sent TDY to Japan for training, and he was scared that his extremely attractive wife would cheat on him while he was gone for three months. Before then, he was sure she had never cheated on him, but I knew it wouldn't be long before she did. 

     Her husband hadn't been away twelve hours when one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen was gang-banged at a "friend's" house. That was an opportunity I wasn't willing to pass up. There was our friend's wife, my wife, and the TDY guy's wife—and twenty-seven of us men at the "party." Each of us men got to have sex with three women that night, and no one cared about who was committing adultery. By the time our TDY guy returned, his wife had had sex with well over three hundred men.

     The TDY guy's wife asked each of us not to tell her husband she had sex with us, and we told her that her secret was safe with us. She told me that she had been a virgin when she got married. Like many other military wives, she discovered that when there are that many men in one place wanting to please her, she'd be stupid not to let them. She did, though, go home to her family for a month.

         When the TDY guy returned, he acted differently toward his wife.  Word got around that they weren't having sex—because he didn't want it. We later found out that he'd cheated while on TDY. He asked his wife for her forgiveness, and she was willing to give it—under one condition, that he allow her to have sex with other men while he watched. Out of a feeling of guilt, he reluctantly agreed, and their cuckold marriage began. I felt bad for him when I had sex with his wife after he'd returned from TDY because I knew he didn't like her having sex with other men, but on a positive note, at least he knew who his wife was having sex with most of the time. 

     If our TDY friend had tried to have sex as often as his wife did, he physically couldn't have. That's where women have an advantage; they can have sex again and again because they don't have to worry about getting or keeping an erection. Gayle, the TDY guy's wife, and my wife became friends. So, of course, Don got to have sex with her often. 

     Todd, Gayle's husband, knew my wife slept around, so we talked often at work. He admitted that he'd screwed up by cheating on Gayle, and he probably deserved what he was getting, and that Gayle deserved what she was getting. He said it tore him up watching other men have sex with Gayle, and he wasn't sure how to handle all the emotions he was feeling. I asked him if he enjoyed the sex he got on the side, and he said that he did. I told him to remember that and to understand that Gayle deserves to experience that, too.

     Todd told me that Gayle was the only woman he'd ever had sex with—until he went TDY. He said he didn't know why he cheated. I told him that he did it for the same reason that Gayle had sex with other men: it was fun and felt good. He admitted it was fun, but he wasn't thinking when he cheated on Gayle. I assured him that we all do things we regret, and he agreed. 

     After a while, Todd admitted that he'd not only cheated on Gayle while on TDY but had done so with Gayle's best friend when he and Gayle were dating. He also told me he often thought about Gayle's best friend when he and Gayle made love. Todd said he still couldn't believe that Gayle actually married him. He admitted she was way out of his league. And I admitted I had thought she was out of my league, too, which made having sex with her more fulfilling for me. Todd asked me if I thought Gayle still loved him, and I said I knew she did. 

     Todd asked me how I knew Gayle loved him. I said she talked about him all the time, even when I fucked her. He told me that after seeing Gayle with other men he felt intimidated because most of the other men's cocks were bigger than his, which was why he and Gayle rarely had sex anymore. I assured him that even though other men were fucking Gayle, her love for him hadn't changed.  If anything, she loved him more for allowing her to have sex with so many bigger cocked men.

     Todd told me he was afraid he would lose Gayle. I told him to give her her freedom but to tell her how much he loved her and encourage her daily to do what she loves and makes her happy. Todd admitted Gayle seemed happier since she started having sex with other men. I asked Todd how many men he'd watched fuck Gayle. After a moment's pause, he said, "Personally, I've watched her with twenty-seven, but I know she's fucked others because she goes to the barracks everyday when we're at work."

     I asked Todd when he and Gayle last fucked, and he said it had been over a month. He lowered his head and said, "But she hasn't gone without." He said he didn't think Gayle needed sex with him since she was getting it elsewhere. I told him Gayle needed him as much as she needed the other men, maybe more. I told Todd that the other men Gayle had sex with didn't love her, they just loved that they got to fuck her. Todd nodded and agreed.

     Todd asked me what it felt like to have sex with my wife after she'd had sex with other men, and I said it was like sliding into a hot tub on a cold day. I told Todd I liked sex more with my wife after she'd been with others. The following day, Todd told me that he and Gayle had made love, and it felt different but better than he remembered. He said he went home and found Gayle in bed with two other men. Before the two other men left, he and Gayle made love, and she said it was the best sex they'd ever had, and he agreed.

    Todd said the two other men Gayle had sex with were friendly and told him how lucky he was to have such a sexy wife. Todd said he watched Gayle and the two men for about thirty minutes before they realized he was there, and the two men stayed while he and Gayle made love. He said he'd never been in a foursome or gang bang, whichever it was. He admitted that was the first time he'd ever been that close to another man's erect cock, and it was weird having them inches from his face when he kissed Gayle.

     Todd looked around and then shyly told me he'd sucked one of the men while fucking Gayle. I asked what he thought, and he said it oddly felt natural. He assured me he wasn't gay but would do it again if he got a chance to. He said doing it was surreal, made his cock harder, and he felt he came more because of it. Todd asked me if I had ever done that, and I told him it happens. He said only one of the men left, and the man he sucked stayed the night. He said it was a real eye-opener.

     Todd said sharing Gayle with another man and being involved as he was was strangely erotic, and the thought of sharing her with another man turned him on now. He said the guy that stayed the night was supposed to be at his house again when he got home, and they'd do Gayle together—and he'd more than likely suck the other man again. Todd said he couldn't believe how sucking another guy got him so turned on. Todd shook his head and smiled, "I have to admit, he does have a nice cock."

     The following day, Todd told me that he and the other guy, Jim, both did Gayle again, and he sucked Jim again, and swallowed, which he said was strangely satisfying. What surprised Todd was that while Jim was fucking Gayle, he asked to suck Todd's cock. Todd said he couldn't believe how good Jim was at sucking cock, even though he said it was his first time doing it. Todd said that Jim told him, privately, that he was better at sucking cock than Gayle was. Todd admitted to me that Jim was better than Gayle, too, and that Gayle didn't swallow, which I already knew.

     A couple of weeks passed, and Todd admitted that he and Jim had been meeting privately at the adult video arcade where they sucked each other off. I asked Todd if they did more than oral, and he didn't answer.  Todd eventually admitted that he'd let Jim fuck him, and it was the best sex he'd ever had. Todd said Jim wanted to keep fucking Gayle, too, but enjoyed fucking and sucking him more than Gayle. Todd said he understood more now why Gayle wanted to have sex with so many men.

     Todd told me that he'd never been attracted to men, but after Jim fucked him, he felt this deep desire to snuggle with him and rest his head on Jim's firm chest. Todd said that when Jim was on top of him and had him pinned down, he was more turned on than he remembered ever being. He said he could feel Jim throughout his body because of his forceful thrusts. Todd said that Gayle had begun to have feelings for Jim, too, which he felt played in his favor. Yet he also felt an attraction to some of the other men Gayle had sex with because of the size of their cocks.

     I told Todd about working for the hotel, and he said it sounded like something he'd like to try. After his first night, Todd couldn't stop talking about the man he had hooked up with. He said, "He was amazing!" He said he still couldn't believe he took all of the man's cock, "It was huge!" He said, "He did me every way possible, and I loved every minute." Todd said the man had to be in his fifties, "but he was built and sexy as hell."

     Todd said the man he was with at the hotel was aggressive but caring, and he had stamina. He said he hoped he had that kind of stamina when he was that old. Todd wondered if he ever felt as good to Gayle as the man at the hotel did to him. He said there were men Gayle was with that made her cum over and over, and he wished now that she saw them the most often. He wanted her to love sex the way he'd come to. Todd admitted that having an affair was probably the best thing he'd ever done for his marriage, or at least for his and Gayle's sex lives.

     Todd said he never imagined how good sex could be, especially with another man. He said seeing Gayle fucked by other men showed him how sex can and should be. Todd said some of the men he watched Gayle with did her well, and she deserved that. Some of the men he wished would fuck him. Todd said that he appreciated that Gayle was so open to all the other men she had sex with and did all the things he did with other men. 

     Because Gayle and my wife were friends, Gayle told my wife things in confidence. She told my wife that she and Todd's father had an affair while Todd was in basic training and attending trade school.  She also admitted to having sex with Todd's father while she and Todd were dating. She also said she knew about Todd's affair with her best friend. Gayle told my wife that Todd's father was a swinger and took her to a swing club while Todd was away. Gayle told my wife that she never intended to be faithful to Todd and was glad he admitted to having his affair while on TDY.

     Gayle told my wife that when Todd was TDY, and she had gone home for a month, she actually went to spend the month with Todd's father. Gayle said she lost her virginity to Todd's father shortly after she and Todd began dating. She said that while Todd was in basic training and technical school, she lived with Todd's father, which made it convenient and easy for her and Todd's father to have sex daily. 

     Gayle and Todd had been married for a year, and Todd had been in basic training, technical training, and TDY for seven months during that time. Gayle stayed with and visited Todd's father most of the time Todd was away. She told my wife that she and Todd's father had sex three to five times daily when Todd was away. She laughed when she told my wife that she'd had sex with Todd's father much more often than she ever did with Todd and that Todd's father was a much better lover.

    I came home soon after to find Gayle and my wife sucking Don's cock. Don nodded as I walked through the door, "Hey, Ray." I nodded back, Gayle waived, and my wife welcomed me home. Don asked me to join them. I looked at my wife, and she said, "There's dick and pussy, choose one and do something about it." I got behind Gayle, slid my cock into her, and my wife stood up and said she was going to go to bed. 

     I pulled out of Gayle and followed my wife to the bedroom. I asked what was wrong, and she said she didn't want to screw anything up. I asked how she'd screw anything up, and she said if I wanted to fuck Gayle, I could, but she didn't want to watch. I told my wife I didn't need Gayle, and she had Don anyway. 

     My wife said, "I don't have sex with other guys when you're home. I don't think it's right. So, if you want to fuck Gayle, do it when I'm not around." My wife then said, "Okay. I might have sex with Don and Scott when you're home, but they're the only ones." I felt guilty for wanting to fuck Gayle when I had the chance and promised my wife I wouldn't do it in front of her. 

     I stood in the hallway and watched Don fuck Gayle. I envied him so. The fact that Gayle and my wife were both sucking him when I got home was impressive enough, but knowing he had sex with them almost anytime he wanted was mind-blowing for me. My wife was right; I had no idea how many men she'd been with, but I knew who Don had been with. I'd been with innumerable men before I got married, but few women as beautiful as Gayle was. 

     Sometimes, it's not the amount of people you get to have sex with but whom you get to have sex with that's important. 

     Bakerssecret.com says there are seven ways that baking improves your well-being; you can reduce stress, boost your mood, improve social connections, increase mindfulness, build confidence, provide a sense of purpose, and spark creativity.  I believe the same can be said about having sex. 

     According to Bakerssecret.com, "Baking Can Reduce Stress - Baking requires concentration and focus, which can help distract you from negative thoughts and worries. By focusing on the task at hand, you can let go of stress and anxiety and feel a sense of accomplishment when your baked goods are finished."

     How is this any different from having sex?  Sex distracts you from negative thoughts and worries if you let it. And when you have sex, you can let go of stress and anxiety and feel a sense of accomplishment when you are finished. 

     Baking Can Boost Your Mood - The act of baking and creating something delicious can release endorphins, the "feel-good" chemicals in your brain. This can boost your mood and make you feel happier and more content. 

     When you have sex, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin, and these feel-good hormones create feelings of relaxation and intimacy, as well as helping to stave off anxiety and depression. 

     Baking Can Improve Social Connections - Baking with friends and family can improve your social connections and create a sense of community. Whether you're baking for a special occasion or just for fun, the act of working together and sharing your creations can strengthen your relationships and create lasting memories. 

     Sex releases oxytocin (the feel-good hormone), which researchers believe is essential for social bonding and building trust. “Sex may set the stage for deepening the emotional connection between strangers,” says Gurit Birnbaum, a social psychologist and associate professor of psychology at the IDC Herzliya. “This holds true for both men and women. Sex motivates human beings to connect, regardless of gender.” 

     Baking Can Increase Mindfulness - When you're baking, you're fully present in the moment, focusing on each step of the process. This can increase mindfulness and help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. By practicing mindfulness while baking, you can improve your overall well-being and reduce stress and anxiety. 

     The Mayo Clinic says, "Some people are naturally good at practicing mindfulness in their day-to-day lives. These individuals are said to have innate mindfulness — also called dispositional mindfulness. Innate mindfulness has been linked to better self-care behaviors, physical health, psychological outcomes and relationships. These people consequently experience increased sexual satisfaction and improved sexual function. 

     Baking Can Build Confidence - Baking can be a challenging and rewarding activity that requires patience and skill. By mastering new recipes and techniques, you can build confidence and feel a sense of pride in your accomplishments. 

     There’s a saying that sex is like food; it’s only a big deal when you’re not getting enough of it. Thoughtcatalog.com says, "Sex is a fundamental socio-emotional function and not getting it when and how you want it can lead to a lot of angst, self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy. It’s not a coincidence that many relationships and even marriages fall apart because of an inability to meet each other’s sexual needs. Our identities and feelings of self-worth are tied tightly to it." 

     Baking Can Provide a Sense of Purpose - Baking for others, whether it's for a special occasion or just to share with friends and family, can provide a sense of purpose and meaning. Knowing that your baked goods are bringing joy to others can be a powerful motivator and boost your overall sense of well-being. 

    The National Institutes of Health (NIH) says studies show a "Higher sense of purpose in life is associated with more enjoyment of sexually intimate activities."

     Baking Can Spark Creativity - Baking is not just about following recipes, it also requires creativity and experimentation. By trying new flavor combinations or decorating techniques, you can unleash your creativity and have fun in the process. 

     In other words, sex is not just about following a societal script; it also requires creativity and experimentation. By trying out new partners or positions or involving sex toys, you can unleash your creativity and have a lot of fun in the process.    

    "I give you sex, and what do I get in return?" Have you ever heard that? A woman has sex with a man, and he has intercourse with her, and she asks what she gets out of the deal. Obviously, she's not getting pleasure or satisfaction, even as a wife having sex with her husband. A woman spreads her legs, a man gets an erection, pumps his penis in and out of the woman's vagina, possibly to orgasm, and eventually spends himself, and she gets nothing out of the deal?

     A wife may not feel that her husband has done enough to deserve sex. She cooks for him, vacuums and does the dishes, runs the budget, and all he does is stick his penis in her until he gets off. Who's benefitting the most? He might unplug the toilet and repair the cars, but is that enough to compensate for all she has to do?

     A high number of marriages are sexless.  Many married people do not see a reason to have sex with their partner. Many spouses do not enjoy the sex they have with their partner. Too many people conclude that maybe they don't like sex without realizing they just don't like the sex they're having. 

     A husband may enjoy sex more with a younger, thinner woman with firm breasts, whereas a wife may enjoy sex more with a taller, fitter man whose penis dwarfs her husband's.  The value of sex often corresponds with a person's Sexual Market Value. Youth automatically adds to a person's Sexual Market Value, as does a woman's lack of inhibitions and a man's larger-than-average penis size. 

     What a person is willing to do to have sex with someone is a good measure of the value of having sex with that person, and the more someone is willing to do sexually with another reflects the other person's sexual value. Sex partners are rarely equal in any way. One often desires the other more, or the other has unmet expectations.  

     Both people fulfilled by having sex with each other is a fantasy. Rarely are both partners fulfilled by a sexual experience. Even when a woman has sex with multiple men simultaneously, she can feel unfulfilled afterward. A man can get an erection, have intercourse, and even ejaculate but not enjoy himself; he just goes through the motions. It is because of this that I wonder how sex can have any real value if it's value changes from moment to moment and from person to person. 

    An Only Fans model may train to have sex with a thousand men in a day and cry after having sex with only one hundred men. Still, a wife can go to an adult XXX arcade and have sex with sixty men in three hours, go to dinner with her husband, and go back to the arcade and have sex with thirty more men and see it as nothing more than a Friday night. 

     Some men see a woman who is too easy as just that—too easy. They don't want a challenge, but they do love a good chase. For many men, the attractiveness of the woman often dictates the level of enjoyment they have during sex.  Oddly, many men prefer
sub-par sex with a beautiful woman over having mind-blowing sex with an average-looking woman. 

     Some men can be offered sex by a woman and turn it down, even when they haven't had sex in a year or more. Men enjoy sex, but they want it their way.  Many want a woman who is easy but pure, young but experienced, beautiful but inexperienced. It's a myth that men will fuck anything that moves. The reason many men go without sex is because they are too picky about the women they will have sex with. 

     I attended a gang bang. When the fourteenth man arrived, he saw the woman having sex with three other men and then left. When I asked why he was leaving, he said, "Yeah. I can't do this." He didn't say why, just that he couldn't. The three men the wife was having sex with were black men. I believe the reason that the fourteenth man left was because he was intimidated. 

     Many men believe they are inadequate compared to other men, especially white men.  Some white men think that if a woman has had sex with black men, she won't be able to feel them or enjoy them. They buy into the myth that all black men are well-endowed. Yes. Some black men and some white men are exceptionally well-endowed. That does not mean that having a smaller penis makes you inferior. It means you may have to work harder at attracting and pleasing women who have experienced sex with men who have larger-than-average penises.  

     It is common knowledge that a person's physical characteristics have a lot to do with their sexual attractiveness. As some men prefer women who have larger breasts, some women choose to have sex only with well-endowed men. Some people don't mind a few extra pounds, but for the most part, people prefer their sex partners to be physically fit or at least at a healthy weight. 

     An obese couple attending a swinger's party may not get attention or sex with or from others. Yet, some obese women can and do get to have sex. Most obese men do not have large penises. Therefore, they are not sexually attractive compared to men who are more physically fit and more well-endowed.

     A woman may accept that her husband has a smaller penis and may even be satisfied by him, that is until she has sex with a more well-endowed man. Many men get their wives or girlfriends to go to swinger's clubs or parties, expecting to get sex from more attractive, more fit women. The problem is that you won't get much unless you offer other men what they can provide you.

    Swinger's clubs are where you find out what your true Sexual Market Value is. Women have inherent Sexual Market Value. Whereas most men do not. You can be ripped, but if you have a buried or micro penis, you will be seen as having little to no Sexual Market Value. A fit man with a large and thick flaccid penis will have much more Sexual Market Value than a man who is a grower, but his penis is less than three inches long and thin when he is not erect. 

     If you have a thin penis, most women you have sex with will seem loose to you. Whereas, if you have a larger, thicker penis, you may feel that some women are too tight. You have to find a balance. Men with smaller penises look for less sexually experienced women for this reason, and more prominent penis men look for women who have more sexual experience. The more sexual experience a person has, the better sexual partners their playmates must be. 

     Experience doesn't always guarantee a person will be a good lover. A woman can have sex with numerous men and not be very good in bed. Just because a woman can give a blow job doesn't mean she's good at it. Being good at sex is a skill few people master, and those who do are sought after. There are some people you have sex with because you can, and others because you are given the privilege to. A man wanting to have sex with a woman doesn't mean much, but when women want to have sex with men, there's usually a reason other than sexual gratification.

     When a man experiences sex with another man, it can change his thinking and how he values sex. He can still enjoy sex with women, but possibly not as much as he used to. After having sex with another man, he may expect more from his female lovers or find them lacking. No matter how hard a woman may try to be like a man, she is still a woman. Many people never experience sex that goes much deeper than skin level. Yet, for many men, their first time having sex with another man is life-changing. 

     There was a time when a white woman having sex with a black man was looked down on. Yet, today, I can't say I know of many white women who haven't had sex with at least one black man. Considering that black men only comprise about 6.5% of the American population, and white women comprise around 30.5%, that means many, if not most, white women who've had sex with black men had sex with the same black men. For many women, once they've had sex with a black man or a group of black men, they become their preference when it comes to choosing sexual partners.

     Many men have lost wives and girlfriends to more well-endowed men. Many women will claim that it is not the size of a man's penis that attracts them, but it is a welcome bonus. Well-endowed men are often confident, which many women find attractive. Well-endowed men also tend to have more sexual experience, which many women prefer. A man with a shorter penis may bump a woman's cervix, but that only means she is not fully aroused, not because he has a big dick.

     As can be seen from the pictures above, a smaller penis does not fill a woman's vagina. Thickness and length are important to men and women during intercourse. Imagine fitting a size small T-shirt and then putting on a 5XXXXX shirt. That's what it is like for some men when they have intercourse.  They're like a row boat in the middle of the ocean.

     A sexually experienced woman knows that what is considered average is nothing more than that—average. A visit to any nudist resort will show you that many men are not even close to average in size. Yet, if you go to a swinger's club, you will see that many men are above average in size. 

      Studies that "proved" the average penis size were done on a small number of men. Any woman who has had sex with twenty or more men knows that six inches is not average; it's actually on the smaller side. And if a woman's fingers touch when she wraps them around a man's erect penis, it's thin.

     One study said that the majority of men's erect penises measure between 4.6" and 6.0"; that's almost an inch and a half difference, which is a lot.  If a woman has intercourse with a man whose penis measures 4.6" in length and thickness and then has intercourse with a man whose penis measures 6.0" in length and thickness, she's going to feel a difference, a big difference.

     A man who gets sex daily may not enjoy the sex he gets, and another man may desire sex and rarely, if ever, get any. Both men are going to value sex differently. A woman may give sex with one man a specific value and sex with another man a different value. Often, it is a matter of opinion.

     A wife may value sex with her lover(s) more than she does with her husband, as can a husband consider sex with a younger, fitter woman more valuable. A man can live with and love his girlfriend and desire a married woman he is having sex with more. Each sexual experience, whether it is mental, emotional, or physical, will have its own value to each person.  So, the value of sex with someone is decided by how much you desire it. 

       When I attended parties as a teenager, it wasn't uncommon for people to be naked or having sex in front of others. No one I knew thought anything about someone getting  blow job in the kitchen or having intercourse on the couch in the living room. At many of the parties I attended, there was usually at least one girl who did anyone and everyone, and no one judged her for it. 

     When I was a teenager in the 70s, no one wore condoms; only dorks carried condoms with them. If you took your wife or girlfriend to parties I attended, there was a good chance that when she left, she'd have someone else's cum running down her thigh. I remember having a friend's sister riding me and her mother walking in and talking to me, my friend, and his sister, who had my cock inside of her. Nothing was seen as odd or out of the ordinary. 

     I don't understand fidelity, mostly because I think that sex should be no different than most things in life. You appreciate it if someone carries your groceries or helps you load them into your car. Why would it be any different if your husband or wife had sex with someone else? It's just someone helping someone else out. Right?

     You discover that your wife has been having sex with your neighbor several times a day while you're at work. So what? You're not available, your wife is horny, and your neighbor is willing to take care of your wife for you. Shouldn't you thank him? He's been doing you a favor over and over for who knows how long, asking for nothing in return. 

     Consider if your aging mother or father needed full-time care; you'd be willing to pay someone to care for them in your stead. Why should your neighbor caring for your wife be any different? If you think about it, shouldn't he be monetarily compensated for his time and effort? And if you're just now finding out they've been having sex for a while, you might owe your neighbor a considerable amount of back pay for taking care of your wife for you. In that case, your neighbor might let you work off what you owe him by mowing his lawn, doing his laundry, or washing his car or windows. 

     To avoid feeling that they owe someone for having sex with their wife, many men ask their closest friends to have sex with their wives, which is what friends should do anyway. A close friend of ours had a penis much thinner and shorter than mine, and his wife often talked about wanting to have sex with me. So, as a favor to our friend, I had sex with his wife frequently. Because they worked opposite shifts and had different days off, it only made sense that I had sex with our friend's wife when he couldn't, and I did it because he was a friend and I cared about him and his wife.

         My first and current wife have wanted to have live-in lovers for convenience. Their lovers have always been better hung than me and wanted sex with my wives more often than I did, which my wives didn't mind. We never charged my wife's live-in lovers rent because they were having sex with my wives. In return, I gave them a place to live, bought their groceries, and they got to have sex with my wife whenever they wanted. 

     In high school, I had sex with my best friend's girlfriend because he wouldn't because of his religious beliefs. Later, when he found out, he said we could no longer be friends. Yet, he unknowingly sucked me off in a department store bathroom no more than a week later. To maintain our friendship, I arranged for us to meet every day after school. He never knew it was me that he was sucking off through the glory hole, but it was the only way I knew for us to have any friendship after he decided we shouldn't have one. We never had a face-to-face friendship again, but we did have a different kind of friendship for close to a year after he said we shouldn't. 

     My first wife told me she would never have sex with a black guy, and then I came home to find her getting gang-banged by six black men. She later admitted it was the best sex she'd ever had. She drove to Compton at least four times a week after that to get gang-banged by as many black guys as possible. I went to The Green Door in Las Vegas with my wife so that she could have sex with several black guys.  I discovered that white men and couples enjoy watching a white wife having sex with multiple black men. 

     I'm not sure where I came to believe this, but I have, for the longest time, felt that if a man has a bigger penis than you and he wants to have sex with your wife or girlfriend, he should be able to because he has a larger penis. I also believe that when a woman gets married, she should get gang-banged right before the wedding or, like my wife, have sex with the photographer before the wedding and then get gang-banged on her wedding night by twenty or thirty guys before she has sex with her husband.

    I have known one man, Carlos, for thirty-seven years. I look up to and dare say worship him because of what and who he's done. Carlos has had sex with my first wife*, her best friends***, my daughter* and her best friends**, my first wife's best friend's daughters****, my first wife's three sisters-in-law ***, and their daughters*****, their friends*******, and a few of their friend's mothers****. He's also had sex with my current wife*, her sister*, her best friend*, two sisters-in-law**, and their daughters***. 

     Carlos is black and was born and raised in Dubai, but I consider him an Etruscan. Etruscans were a people who knew how to enjoy life! They had refined tastes, appreciated food, love, sex, and entertainment, and held women in the highest regard. Some of the women mentioned above had children Carlos fathered but did not raise; their husbands did. It's wild knowing that almost every woman I know has had sex with Carlos, and some of them have borne his children that their husbands support and will support for decades to come. 

     Wife sharing was an established custom of Etruscans. Wives had the freedom to have sex with whomever they chose, and there was no shame attributed to anyone having sex in public with anyone or watching others having sex. Keep in mind that the Etruscans were a civilization that flourished in the fourth century B.C. It is stated by Theopompus, "after they have stopped drinking and are about to go to bed, while the lamps are still lit, servants bring in courtesans, or boys, or sometimes even their wives. And when they have enjoyed these they bring in boys, and make love to them. They sometimes make love and have intercourse while people are watching them."

     Needless to say, Etruscans enjoyed sex, and no shame was associated with it. The status of women in any society has repercussions on the interpretation of life and sex. In striking contrast with women in Greek and Roman cultures who could not leave their homes without an escort, Etruscan women were emancipated and allowed to act as they wished. As the Greek and Roman women were submissive to men and relegated to be an instrument to ensure the continuation of the family lineage, women were equal to men in many ways in Etruscan society. They chose their partners, were able to marry for love and affection, and, although married, were still free to express their sexuality and fulfill their desires with others. They could not only bear children fathered by men who were not their husband but could sit next to their husbands at the table. This would unfairly “earn” them the reputation of the most scandalous women in ancient history. 

    Today, women with the morals of men are looked down upon, and men who share their wives or girlfriends with other men are not considered well. Yet, in societies where such practices were and are common, they were and are usually only practiced by those in higher society. Social nudity and recreational sex are common within society's upper classes. Rarely do you hear of lower class men having mistresses. 

     Artwork from the Etruscan era often depicts men having sex with men. Simultaneously,  the Greeks saw same-sex love as common and ordinary; they imported their same-sex relations–a form of civil education for young men 7 to 14 years of age–to their colonies in south Italy. Pederastic homosexual relationships were encouraged by the social elite of the ancient Greek polis because respectable freeborn males were pressured by peers, high mortality rates, and the fact that dating freeborn females of respectable property-holding families was out of the question to engage in sexual experimentation very early in life with much older experienced men. Given the inordinate length of bachelorhood in ancient Greek society, a man’s reliance on male-male sexual fulfillment tended to develop into habits that carried over into married life. 

     Young freeborn Greek women of property-holding families would be married as soon as they reached puberty to begin the childbearing process and maintain the domestic quarters of the newly formed family. Typically, young freeborn females of respectable society would experience no sexual experimentation, and no dating, before marriage. Their first sexual experience was with a much older man whose prior sexual experience had only been with boys and men, men who continued having sexual relations with much younger men after marriage. Sometimes, the older married men would use sex with their young wives as a punishment or reward for their young male lovers.

     Boys from well-to-do Greek households often attended public school, and a slave called a paedagogus would accompany the boys to school and serve as tutors, guardians, and lovers. Where the Romans and the Greeks aligned was in that the Greeks saw the passive role in male same-sex relations as feminizing and associated with social stigma. Roman society emphasized the active/dominant role in sexual encounters, and it was considered acceptable for a Roman male citizen to engage in same-sex relations with a social inferior, such as a slave or foreigner, as long as the citizen was the active/dominant partner.

     Etruscan men didn't see male-male sex as any different than male-female sex. To them, it was all sex. As opposed to the Greeks, young Etruscan men could have and enjoyed sex with men and women of all ages. When they had sex with other men, Etruscan males weren't considered feminine, no matter their role while doing so. Where Etruscan, Greek, and Roman young women differed was in that Etruscan women had the freedom to have sex long before marriage, and the sex didn't have to be for procreation or with anyone in particular.

     Today, like Etruscan women, women have sexual freedom and can choose their sexual partners, and men having sex with men is societally much more acceptable. The problem many married women have today is that they want to feel with their spouse what they feel when they are with their lovers. Women want to be more like men, but they also want men to treat them like women. Many women want to dominate and control men, yet, simultaneously want them to dominate them. That is the paradox we now face. 

     I believe that sex became a bad thing when the sex people were having wasn't the sex they wanted, or they weren't getting sex, and resented those who were. A spouse will never be as good as a lover, but a husband or wife will expect their spouse to be as good, which causes disappointment and resentment. Let's say a wife separates from her husband for six months, spends that time with her lover, and then returns to her spouse. She will expect her spouse to make her feel like her lover did, and she will be disappointed; it's inevitable. 

       I believe men and women want more when it comes to sex. For many, sex is transactional: "The more you do for me, the more I'll do for you." There can be resentment when one person is always the chaser, not the chasee. People want the biggest bang for their buck. The more they do for someone else, the more they expect in return.

     Some people desire their partner because of who they are or what they can offer physically, sometimes both. Some constantly desire their partner or lover(s), while others believe their partner must earn sex. What does it take to earn sex? Some people can't do enough to earn sex, while others have to do little to get it. 

     I've heard that you can't get what you don't ask for, but I've learned that asking for anything is often too much to ask. Men and women are different in so many ways. Men usually have to jump through hoops to get sex from a woman, yet they can easily get a blow job to completion by a man they've never met at a public restroom or a stall in an adult video arcade. 

     Movies and TV shows make it seem as though women love to give blow jobs, but that's not the case in the real world. Few women truly enjoy fellatio (giving head), and fewer swallow. In contrast, men who like cock, love to suck and are disappointed if their partner doesn't cum. Many men will give several blow jobs, not wanting or expecting anything in return; they do it because they love doing it, and many are very good at what they do.

     Another way men and women differ sexually is that men, being visual, can get turned on by the sight of another man's penis. Factors such as gender roles and norms are thought to cause low sexual desire for many men in heterosexual relationships, causing them to look to other men for sexual satisfaction. 

     While a person may identify as straight, their feelings and attractions can evolve, and they may discover romantic or sexual feelings for someone of the same sex. The label "straight" means a person is primarily attracted to the opposite sex. Still, it doesn't mean they are incapable of experiencing attraction to and, better yet, more satisfying sex with someone of the same sex.

     Many, especially older, men find that sex with men is often better, more enjoyable, and satisfying than sex with women. You can only go so deep in a woman's vagina, and few are into anal. Yet, anal sex with a man can have no bounds or limits. Many men find that once they give orally to another man, it becomes a preference. As one man put it, "dicks and potatoes chips, one just isn't enough."

     Studies have shown that "straight" men realize, after receiving oral sex from another man, that they want to do the same thing for other men. Men don't have to be attracted to other men to enjoy sex with them. The attraction is not often romantic but sexual. Many men who have had sex with another man or other men frequently find it challenging to become aroused by women afterward. It's like riding a quarterhorse at full speed and then having to return to the horse ride at the corner grocery store; it's not as fun or fulfilling, and sometimes you feel stupid doing it.

     I think sex became a bad thing when people started deciding that certain sexual acts were either unacceptable or unacceptable for one sex but not the other. People stopped liking sex because other people were choosing for them what sex was proper and what types of sex were wrong. Many people are confused about their sexuality, when they should be enjoying any and every kind of sex available to them. Sex should be all about pleasure, giving, and receiving!

     If your entire penis is smaller than another man's glans (the head of his penis), you have a small penis, possibly a micropenis.  

     The medical community says that micropenises are rare. It is also believed that penises that are longer than six inches in length are rare. Neither is true. Many men have larger and smaller than average size penises. 

       Many men have discovered that they are hetero-flexible, meaning they can enjoy sex with men and women, and once they have sex with another man, they find they enjoy sex more with men. Some men can't fathom ever having sex with another man. Yet, many men like the fact that other men enjoy anal sex, deep throat, swallow, and want sex often. 

     In the past, these women with more to offer were known as chicks with dicks, transvestites, and sometimes lady-boys.  Allen told me, "I've been into trannies since I was in junior high. It's actually kind of weird because I had never met one, but I used to tear out pictures from adult magazines and put dicks on women. It turned me on to see a penis on a woman." 

     "I liked girls, but most were bitches. They thought they were special because they had a pussy," Allen said, "Then I met this girl. She was different. She was sexy as hell and friendly.  She went down on me at the park one day and was amazing. I tried to get into her pants, and she told me not to. I asked her what she had to hide. She said she didn't want to ruin what we had."

     Allen continued, saying, "She was afraid that if I found out she had a dick, I'd do something to her, like hit her or something. She was so wrong.  We went to my house, and I showed her my picture book of all the women I had put penises on.  She commented that the women in my picture book all had very large penises. I told her I thought it was sexy. Rachel took a chance and showed me her penis. I was impressed. Her penis dwarfed mine."

     Allen dated Rachel for two years. When they had intercourse, Rachel more often topped Allen. Allen told me, "I miss her and will probably never meet anyone like her again, but I still look. To me, a woman with a penis is just more attractive, especially if theirs is bigger than mine."

     In the early 2020s, the cry "Trans women are women." became known. Biologically, trans women may not be women, but to many people, they always have been. I worked at a gay spa in the 1980s, and trans women were not allowed in. When I asked why, I was told, "Men come here to be with men, not women. So, they can't come in." Even then, in the 80s, gay men saw trans women as women.

    Some people say that men attracted to trans women are gay. If we go by what I learned in the 80s from gay men, being attracted to trans women isn't a gay thing.  Kyle asked me, "What's so gay about being attracted to a beautiful woman? So she has a dick. So what? It's not like it makes her not a woman." 

     Kyle exclusively dated trans women and claimed he was straight, "I'm like most men, I date women. No one ever asks anyone to see under their date's dress or what's between her legs. You never know; your best friend might be dating a trans woman, and if she passes, you'd never know."

     Content creator Blair White is an example of a trans woman you'd never know was trans if they never told you. There is a vast difference between trans women and cross-dressers, but if both are passing, there is no reason anyone would think they weren't women.

     Men who are attracted to trans women are like any other men; they have preferences. Some men prefer blondes, while others prefer brunettes. Some men like large breasts, while others prefer smaller breasts, and some men prefer their women to have
a penis. 

     Biological women of all ages have that time of the month when their hormones go wonky. Some men prefer not to have to experience those times with their partner and usually don't have to when she has a penis. Because biological men and women communicate differently, they often misunderstand each other. Two biological males frequently speak the same language.

     The issue isn't with women with penises; the real problem is that there are many more trans people than we might think there are. Like closeted gay people, there are also closeted trans people. They live closeted because they can't live their lives the way they want for whatever reason, and that is a sad existence.

     The reason I have always been most comfortable around people who are openly gay or trans is because they are living their lives the way they want to live them, not to please anyone else. The only way to be happy is to make yourself a priority. Most of us don't do that for fear of being seen as selfish or narcissistic. I don't think wanting to be happy is selfish or narcissistic. 

      Especially if you are a husband, you will see the worst of your wife because she feels confident that you will not leave her.  If you have been a pushover, you know that your wife will walk all over you and treat you the way you've always allowed her to. She doesn't believe she has to treat you special in any way and that no matter what she does, you'll still love her.

     Men stay with women for many reasons, not often because they love them. They usually have nowhere else to go, and no one cares. A wife can leave her husband knowing she has someone to go to. A woman's ex is often their first choice when looking for somewhere to go and someone to be with. 

     Because of familiarity, an ex may not have to ask for sex to get it; it just happens. This occurs even if the husband and wife had or have little to no sex life with or between one another. If a wife leaves her husband for a lover, even temporarily, her lover will get sex because that is what their relationship is built around. 

     A husband is never a knight in shining armor; he's usually considered a spawn of Satan himself.  It is typically the lover the wife runs to for adoration and affirmation, and for his adoration and affirmation, gets sex. A husband must win his wife back while her lover consoles, commiserates, and comforts her, often in his bed.

     Many therapies tell men, "Allow your wife time to reflect on the relationship and process her feelings without pressure. Don't push her to reconcile if she isn't ready; respect her need for space, privacy, and boundaries."  What these therapies are essentially saying is, "Your wife is getting dick from someone else, so sit back and be patient. When she wants yours again, she'll let you know."

     Some say the best way to get your wife back is to woo her again. So, while she is sucking and fucking her lovers and their friends, and who knows who else, you're supposed to be sending her loving texts, sending her flowers, and doing everything her lovers don't have to do to get sex.

     As a husband, you are a paycheck whether you stay together or divorce. If you want what your wife's lovers get for free, you need to step up your game and do more. You need to impress her!

     If you and your wife are separated, there's a good chance she doesn't want to have sex with you right now (Don't worry; she's not doing without). 

     If you and your wife are separated, you can get a lover, too, but be careful; having a female lover could make your wife believe you no longer want or need her, making her not want to get back with you. She may even resent you for finding a lover and use that against you in divorce court. 

     Women are jealous and expect their husbands to remain faithful even when they aren't. Remember, when a husband cheats, he is unfaithful, but when a wife cheats on her husband, she is finding herself, building her self-confidence, and trying to heal.

     Your wife may still love you but not be in love with you. She may not want to divorce but needs a break from you instead. You have to see things from her perspective. She's hurting, and you need to be empathetic. Her leaving you or wanting a separation isn't something that just happened; it's been building up to that point for a long time, possibly for years.

     If you try to logically convince your wife to feel and do something different from what she is presently feeling and doing, you will continue to push her even further away, decreasing any possibility of saving your marriage and increasing the probability of eventually losing her. 

     You need to understand that your wife is experiencing emotional pain. Her emotional pain is much like the physical pain someone might feel who has been in a train accident. If she has left you to be with another man, understand this is her coping with the trauma you've put her through.

     If your wife has withdrawn or pushed you away, you need to accept that she's doing so because of something you've done or not done that's made her feel unheard, disrespected, and invalidated. If your wife wants to leave you, divorce you, or just needs some time away from you, you must respect that and understand that now is not the time for apologizing or logic.

     Your wife doesn't care if you think you've changed; she needs to see that you've changed and want to put her first in your life. You can't say you've changed and continue to hurt her the way you have, possibly for years. It may take several months for her to accept that you have changed. Remember, it's up to her whether she wants to return to you.

     One of the worst things you can do if your wife wants a separation or divorce is to push for sex. Your wanting sex when she is hurt or angry tells your wife she and her feelings are not important to you and that you only want her for sex. Yes, your wife may be having sex with others, but they haven't hurt her the way you have.

     If your wife has left you or wants to, you must understand that you're the reason. You've taken her for granted, disrespected her, or invalidated her emotions. Sometimes, it takes months or years for a wife to forgive her husband for hurting her. At this point, she needs you to be patient, understanding, and supportive.

       If your wife has had lovers, you have to step up your game and be what they've been for her. When your wife doesn't have lovers or an ex available, can you be what they are to her? Can you fill the empty space they've left behind?

     If your wife has had lovers, she's felt what it's like to be filled up. She's gotten used to the feeling of a large cock inside her. Are you as big as her lovers have been? If not, what do you do? 

     As your wife's husband, you must realize that once your wife has a lover, he sets the standard. He's the one she thinks about when she wants sex. He's the one that gets her off. When he's not available, you have to be him, or you have to find your wife a new lover.

     When I was younger, a friend told me that if he woke up a woman, he'd be a total slut. I wonder if that's true. Would he be willing to let men he doesn't know have sex with him in any way they desired? Would he automatically be willing to orally please these men? Men and women think differently, especially sexually. Men want to have sex with women, but they don't realize all that entails. Would you be willing to do what you want women to do for you?

     As men, many of us envy women's ability to have multiple full body orgasms, but what if you're one of those women who can't orgasm from penetration? You have a man enjoy your body, and he gets off and you don't. How long are you going to be willing to have sex with no release? Would it bother you if he didn't care if you got off or not?  As a woman, would you think about sex the way you do now? 

     When you have sex as a man, do you see it as a way of emotionally connecting with the woman? Do you consider the trust a woman has to have to enjoy sex with you? Is there emotional as well as physical intimacy, or is just fucking? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with fucking, but women often want more than just sex, especially in long term relationships. Even an affair partner must fulfill her in other ways other than sexually.

     While men desire physical sex, most women desire to be wanted. Your desire for her may spark her interest in having sex with you, not what you have below your waist. Some women can actually enjoy sex with men who are not well hung. To many women, the size of a man's penis isn't the most important thing, even when having sex. Most women want to feel desired for who they are, not for what they can do sexually. 

     Many women enjoy sex as much as men do, but for different reasons. Most men enjoy sex because they're getting it. Many women, on the other hand, need to be romanced and feel desired to want sex. Some women may have sex with their man as a gift to them. Often, women do not know they want sex until it's already happening. Women often go to bed willing to have a good experience, but not really wanting or craving sex until they are aroused. It is a man's reaction to a woman that sparks her desire for sex with him.

     If your woman is a touchy-feely type of person, she wants you to react, to show that you like what she's doing. She is teaching you what she wants you to do. Your erection may not always be enough to get her to go to bed with you, but if you've been romantic, touchy-feely with her, and made her feel wanted and appreciated, her sexual desire for you will be stronger. 

     Some women are self conscious when it comes to the looseness or tightness of their vagina. Yet, the women who experience vaginal laxity are women who have either had multiple child births or lovers, or prolonged sexual activity that involves several well- hung lovers over an extended period of time.

     A woman may have an affair and afterward have trouble feeling her spouse during intercourse, which often happens after an affair with a better-hung man. Vaginal laxity (VL) is rarely discussed among patients and their physicians possibly due to embarrassment associated with their partner's lack of penis size. 

     A diagnosis of VL is based on patient self-report because for some women whose partners are well sized, they do not notice nor believe that there is a problem with their vaginal tightness or looseness, or lack of sensation during intercourse. It is often women in relationships with more petite penis men who complain of a lack of sensation, lubrication, and orgasm.

     If you are a woman and you can feel, lubricate, and orgasm with your lovers but can't with your spouse, it is not the tightness or looseness of your vigaina that's the problem. If you can feel other men during intercourse but not your husband, it is not a medical problem you are experiencing; you are experiencing your husband's small penis which has made you belive your vagina is too loose.

     Vaginal fisting is much like fingering a woman, except that you're using your entire hand(s) and not just a finger or two. For many women, the incredible sense of fullness is what they enjoy most. For many men and women, fisting is a spiritual experience.  I was fourteen the first time I fisted a girl. I was fingering her with one finger, then two, then three, until I was attempting to put my entire hand inside of her vagina. We used a lot of lube, and I eventually worked my hand inside of her. It was something we both wanted to experience, and I believe I enjoyed having my hand inside of her vagina as she did having it there.   

     Women expect the man to pay for everything when they ask them on a date. When a man goes on a first date, he may hope for sex, but that is not normally what happens. When a man takes a woman on a date, he spends money on a woman who has no intention of having sex with him, who wants to be wined and dined and treated well. And this usually costs the man more than if he'd hired an escort. Neither is going to have sex with him, and he's still going to spend money. So, what is the advantage of taking a woman on a date? If a man were to hire a prostitute, he'd at least get sex, and for much less money.

    When Craigslist allowed personal ads, many people were getting sex, often with married women, for free. Men were also getting sex from and with other men. You could answer or post an ad, and within hours or even minutes, you were having sex. It was that easy. Craigslist was a Godsend for many men who weren't getting sex the usual way. And many men got to participate in gang bangs. Those were good times. Now, without something like Craigslist, many men have to either go without, go to sex clubs that allow single men, or pay for sex in one way or another. Most modern women will not go out on a coffee date because that shows the man is cheap. They want men who are "generous."

     Men are told not to expect sex on a first date, yet they are expected to spend outrageous amounts of money on a woman who has no interest in having sex with them. Where does this make sense? For many women, it is expected that a man will have to earn (spend enough) to even get to first base. Which would this be, a date or an escort, an attractive woman who will pretend to care about you, carry on a conversation, laugh at your jokes, and then make you feel like you've seduced them with your charm and wit yet not have sex with you? It could be either. Right? 

     Men will indeed pay for sex. Many women do not understand why men do this, yet many men know instinctively. Whether you take a woman on a date and then get sex or hire a prostitute, either way, you are paying for sex. Many men who hire prostitutes want sex, but many also just want someone to talk to. Not all men who hire prostitutes have sex with them. Some men just want to talk to and feel the touch of a woman. And these very same men often end up on police websites as "Johns," men who solicit prostitutes.

     Studies have shown that men who solicit prostitutes often go back to the same prostitutes time and again. For many of the men, these are romantic get-togethers with guaranteed sex if they want it. There is no fear of rejection or being thought creepy or perverted. Although there is risk involved in hiring a prostitute, many men see it as having less risk and more rewards than dating. 

     An ordinary female date might reject a man or happen to be tired, distant, or not in the mood. In contrast, prostitutes generally accept their customers unconditionally and offer intimacy on demand. Often, men go to prostitutes to deal with their psychological insecurities as well as their sexual needs. It is not just ugly men who seek out prostitutes; married men, men in sexless marriages, single men, lawyers, policemen, firefighters, bankers, and other men will seek out the services of prostitutes because there is less drama and rejection. 

     Prostitution laws are intended to protect public health and welfare (including the suppression of sexually transmitted diseases), protect minors who might otherwise become involved in the sex industry, thwart other associated forms of crime, and curb the incentive to exploit women. The ban against prostitution is said to denounce the exploitation of sexual gratification. Many people oppose prostitution because they feel it is immoral or because they feel it degrades and victimizes women. Because prostitution usually involves consensual behavior, some scholars say it should not be illegal in a society that values a right to privacy. 

     Prostitution was common in the United States through the nineteenth century. Poor women became prostitutes because it provided a source of income at a time when they had few other options for jobs. Many married women found this to be a viable source of income. Around 1910, religious groups spoke out about the immorality of prostitution and, in addition, claimed that middle-class girls were increasingly becoming prostitutes. This eventually caused legal brothels to close nationwide. Today, many women are call girls, escorts, street prostitutes, or OnlyFans models. Call girls and escorts (known as indoor prostitutes) do actually have sex with their clients and often make very good money.

     The lives and welfare of streetwalkers are much worse than indoor sex workers. As sociologist Ronald Weitzer observes, “Many of the problems associated with ‘prostitution’ are actually concentrated in street prostitution and much less evident in the indoor sector.” In particular, many streetwalkers are exploited or abused by pimps, use drugs, and are raped, robbed, and/or beaten by their clients. A good number of streetwalkers also began their prostitution careers as runaway teenagers and were abused as children. 

     In contrast, indoor workers begin their trade when they are older and are less likely to have been abused as children. Their working conditions are much better than those for streetwalkers, they are less likely to be addicted to drugs and to have STDs, they are better paid, and they are much less likely to be victimized by their clients. Studies that compare indoor prostitutes with nonprostitutes find that they have similar levels of self-esteem, physical health, and mental health. Many indoor prostitutes even report a rise in self-esteem after they begin their indoor work (Weitzer, 2012). 

     Most average men can't afford call girls or private escorts. So, they look for sex on the streets. Many say this is risky because of the likelihood of catching an STD. Yet, many women today have unprotected sex with many of the same men. Many women get into sex work because they have few marketable job skills. Yet men who seek out sex workers are often well-to-do financially. 

     Prostitution is functional for several parties in society. It provides prostitutes a source of income, and it provides a sexual alternative for men who lack a sexual partner or are dissatisfied with their current sexual partner. According to Kingsley Davis, prostitution also helps keep the divorce rate lower than it would be if prostitution did not exist. 

     According to UNM.EDU, "According to functionalist theory, prostitution exists because it serves several important functions for society generally and for certain people in society. It provides a source of income for many women who otherwise might be jobless, and it provides a sexual alternative for men. 

     Almost eight decades ago, sociologist Kingsley Davis (1937) wrote that prostitution even lowers the divorce rate. He reasoned that many married men are unhappy with their sex life with their wives. If they do not think this situation can improve, some men start an affair with another woman and may fall in love with that woman, threatening these men’s marriages. Other men turn to a prostitute. Because prostitution is generally impersonal, these men do not fall in love with their prostitutes, and their marriages are not threatened. Without prostitution then, more men would have affairs, and more divorces would result. Although Davis’s hypothesis is provocative, there are no adequate studies to test it. 

     Davis' reasoning resonates with my belief as to why more married men are seeking out married women for sex. Ashley Madison is a perfect example. Men would prefer not to have to pay for sex, yet they often have to. Even married men pay for sex one way or another. Many single men see prostitution as a cheaper and less emotionally taxing alternative to dating. Yet, other men choose to masturbate to pornography, which is even cheaper and often more fulfilling. 

     Pornography has seen a rise in popularity because more men feel less like men around women and often fear what women will do if they do or say "something wrong."  Pornography may fulfill some of men's desires, but many men still feel the urge to be with a woman, and prostitution is a viable option for many men. Many modern women "don't need no man" and are not attracted to average men who are in their league.   

     Most women are able to get sex, but not often with the men they want to have sex with.  Women have fought for "equality," and many women are now finding out what it feels like for men in the sexual marketplace. Average men are not approaching women, and women can't understand why. Men have alternatives. And many are going their own way. Women are getting employment positions where they can make decisions, and many men have to work for and under women who do not respect them. This does not cause men to want to try anymore.

     Prostitution is illegal in all states because of morality but also because women feel threatened by other women who provide men what they want for a price. Women want to be chased and put on a pedestal, and women giving men what they want for less than they would have to spend on average women is threatening to many women. Yet, many younger women have found OnlyFans to be as profitable as being a call girl or an escort without having to leave their homes. 

     OnlyFans models have found a way to continue making money off of men by simply showing off their bodies. No matter what, men will always be attracted to women. Men may not want to put in the time for a committed relationship, but a few dollars a month seems affordable and worth it to many men. If you think about it, if prostitution were legal, it would be safe, and sex would be readily available, yet women who were not prostitutes would have a tougher time attracting men.

    The major problem with prostitution is that men proudly say, "I've never had to pay for sex." And for some men, that is true. But take your average thirty-year-old man who makes an average wage. If he's getting sex, he's either getting it from a friend or a married woman, or he's paying for it. Most men pay for sex one way or another. There are times when a man gets lucky enough to find a woman who just wants to get laid, but those women are few and far between for most men.

     Society has made it shameful if a man pays for sex. Yet, if he dates a woman and spends most of his money on her and still doesn't get laid, that's respectable somehow. Men who just want to get laid are getting arrested and publicly shamed, while women are praised for not letting a man have sex with them. We live in a weird world. Women want sex as much as men do, but they only want sex with men they want to have sex with, not the men who want to have sex with them.

     Today, if you are not six feet or taller, have a six-pack stomach, make at least six figures, and have at least a six-inch cock, your chances of getting laid are slim. If prostitution were legal, all men would be able to get sex when they wanted it. Yet, even though many women are choosing OnlyFans as their profession, many women feel that men just want to objectify them. Men just want to be loved, respected, and live a peaceful life. Men don't ask for much, and they want sex just like women do, but an average man making an average salary wanting sex today is "bad."

     The #METOO movement and feminism have caused men not to want to approach or even look at women. Yet, men still seek out women for companionship and sex, and some are willing to pay for it, just not have to put up with what dating entails. Like running a race, you go directly to the finish line. You don't wander around the field. Prostitution allows men to get what they want without having to put up with women's emotions or outrageous expectations, demands, or rejection.

     Some men try to shame women who have had sex with multiple men, and some women shame men for being men. Women have sex with multiple men because they can. And if it were that easy for men, they'd do the same thing. It's all about opportunity. The higher a woman's standards, the less men she's going to attract. In a way, this can be good, but it can also be bad because by having too high of standards, many women miss out on the good men they don't want to acknowledge even exist.

     If the Government wasn't involved in marriage, and the Government wasn't involved in people's private sexual lives, there would be no divorce, and prostitution would be as accepted as same-sex relations are today. Maybe, in time, prostitution will be legal in all states. Although I doubt that will ever happen. Former US Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders thinks it makes no sense to ban prostitution simply because it objectifies women: “Why are we so upset about sex workers selling sexual acts to consenting adults?” she asks. “We say that they are selling their bodies, but how different is that from what athletes do? They’re selling their bodies. Models? They’re selling their bodies. Actors? They’re selling their bodies” (McCaslin, 1999, p. A8). 

     When people think of prostitutes, they think of streetwalkers, although women who work the streets only comprise twenty percent of prostitutes. Most prostitutes are call girls, escorts, or work in brothels or massage parlors. Now OnlyFans models can also be considered prostitutes, and the prostitutes who do not work the streets do well for themselves financially. 

     When the US Supreme Court finally invalidated all laws against homosexual sex in its 2003 case, Lawrence v. Texas, the majority opinion declared that “the fact that a State’s governing majority has traditionally viewed a particular practice as immoral is not a sufficient reason for upholding a law prohibiting the practice.” It further asserted, “The petitioners are entitled to respect for their private lives. The State cannot demean their existence or control their destiny by making their private sexual conduct a crime. Their right to liberty under the Due Process Clause gives them the full right to engage in their conduct without intervention of the government.” Although the majority opinion specifically said its decision did not apply to prostitution, a reasonable argument could be made that respect for the privacy of consensual sexual conduct also means that prostitution, too, should be legal. 

     If prostitution victimizes and objectifies women, shouldn't modeling and cheerleading be illegal? 

     Proponents of prostitution legalization argue that although many people cite the horrible lives of many streetwalkers as a major reason for their support of laws against prostitution, these laws ironically cause the problems that streetwalkers experience (Weitzer, 2011). When US prostitution was legal a century ago in brothels across the nation, brothel prostitutes were safer than streetwalkers are now. Prostitutes working today in Nevada’s legal brothels are safer than streetwalkers. 

     Whatever we might think of their behavior, legal brothel workers are relatively safe from being robbed, beaten, or raped, and their required regular medical exams leave them relatively free of sexually transmitted diseases. The health problems and criminal victimization that many streetwalkers experience happen because their behavior is illegal, and legalizing and regulating prostitution would reduce these problems (Weitzer, 2011). 

     When marijuana was legalized, it brought in a considerable amount of tax revenue. This could also occur if prostitution were to be legalized. If you think about it, the only major difference between prostitution and sex resulting from a casual pickup is whether cash money is exchanged. Although few want to admit it, people have always and will always want to have sex. Whether cash money is exchanged or dinners bought, men are paying for sex. Because men are always going to pay for sex one way or another, we might as well make prostitution legal, regulate it, and earn tax revenue from it. This way, men could get what they pay for, and women could financially benefit. Sounds like a win-win to me.

          It is true that for a woman to want to have sex, she needs to feel desired, but just because she feels desired doesn't mean she wants to have sex. A woman can be aroused, but for her to want to have sex, she has to feel the desire within herself. 

          Most men desire a sexy, beautiful woman—that's a no-brainer. Yet, most women aren't looking to be with just any man. They want someone who makes them feel desired. 

          Although modern women are more educated and often make more money than many men, they know that intellect and their earnings are not what attract most men. Whereas women will date across and up, men will date down. A young woman working at a fast food place has as much or a better chance of attracting a man than a woman who is highly educated and makes more than he does. 

          Often, men will look at a woman who is scantily dressed and be turned on by her, he may even desire to have sex with her, but he can have the same desire for his neighbor or a girl who works at the Dollar Store. Men want and enjoy sex with women. Yet, fewer women look at men and instantly think about wanting to have sex with them.

          Whether women are wearing short, revealing dresses or yoga pants and a T-shirt, they want men to desire them. They want to be noticed. Women shave their legs and armpits and put on makeup and false eyelashes to look attractive. Why does it take so long for a woman to get ready for the day? She strives for perfection. Many women falsely believe they have to be the most beautiful woman to be attractive. A beautiful face and body help, but men want women to be real.
        Men are attracted to women who are fun in and out of bed. Most men are attracted to women with soft voices, a fun and easygoing demeanor, and who are open-minded. 

          Most men know that club girls may be sexy, but they aren't looking for sex, at least not with just any guy. A number of men will look at a club girl and see her as someone they could spend a lot of money on and get nothing in return. The men who are attractive enough to get almost any woman will have sex with club girls because they can but will have little to do with them after they have sex with them, leaving the women feeling used.

          Yes. Men want and enjoy sex, but if they find a woman they can have fun with outside of the bedroom, they will find her more attractive. Most men have interests outside of sex. Contrary to popular belief, men do not always think about sex. Sometimes we think of nothing at all for extended periods of time.

          Many women today believe they don't need men, but the same goes for men; they don't need women, either. Men appreciate women who want to be with them. Men and women alike want and enjoy quality time spent with the opposite sex. 

          If you are a man or a woman looking for the perfect partner, you're not going to find one because we're human, and none of us are perfect. However, if you are supportive, fun, interested, and interesting, whatever flaws you have will be considered minimal. 

       Men are attracted to women who share their interests, even sex. Yes. Men will have sex with women simply because they can, but what most men are looking for is someone they can enjoy their life with. Men are always going to be attracted to beautiful women, but many have found that women who focus too much on their beauty have little else to offer.

          To many men, a woman's larger breasts indicate that they will sag more as she ages. Instead of looking like breasts, they will end up looking like cow utters. 

          Seeing as how most women do not like their bodies, many dress provocatively to boost their confidence without realizing that by doing so, they are saying that they are insecure and are focused on their flaws rather than who they are and can be.

          Throughout my life, I have seen women who like riding roller coasters as sexy. In the 70s, I liked the women who wore spandex pants and halter tops, but I was most impressed when they could just let go and get into the music at concerts. 

          All women have breasts and vaginas, but that doesn't make them special. What makes a woman attractive and special is her interest in what her man is interested in. 

          A woman can be supportive, but if she is not engaged and truly interested, she is not going to be attractive, no matter what she's wearing.

          Women want men to be supportive, caring, empathetic, have a job and goals, be attractive, successful, daring, and vulnerable, but you can't always have it all. 

          A guy can hook up with a gorgeous woman, but just because she's physically astonishing doesn't mean she'll be good in bed. The same goes for men. 

          Success means something different to each of us. Some women see a wealthy man as successful; other women see an alcoholic who has been sober for a month as successful. This is how people should see beauty and attractiveness. It's not about what a person looks like that matters but, rather,  who they are as people.      

     I had a friend who used to say, "A stiff dick has no conscience." I beg to differ. If that were true, men would "fuck anything that moves." Yes. Men like sex, but they want sex from the right people. Some men don't care who they have sex with. Others will only have sex with biological women. Still, others want to have sex with their wife or girlfriend. Sex for men isn't just about getting off.

      Many women feel that when a man wants to have sex with them they are degrading them or objectifying them, which is why when women ask men, "Is sex all you want from me?" it is said in a shaming tone. The funny thing is, the easier a woman is to have sex with, the less most men want it from them.

     The problem isn't that men want sex; it's who they want it with. When a man wants to have sex with a woman he is in a sexual relationship with it means he wants to have a sexual relationship, not a platonic friendship. Sexual relationships are the only place societally acceptable for a man to want sex. If he is in a sexual relationship with a woman and gets sex elsewhere, he is ridiculed and shamed, but if the woman he is in a sexual relationship doesn't give or offer him sex, what is he to do?

     Where I live, a local community paper used to publish the names and photos of men who had been arrested for solicitation, attempting to pay for sex. Whenever I saw these men's photos, I wondered how many of the men were married, and how shameful it would be for the men's wives because the community now knew they weren't having sex with their husbands.

     The paper never stated why the men were attempting to pay for sex, and they never focused on where or how the wives of the men weren't holding up their part of the sexual relationship agreement to have sex with their husbands. The paper also never stated if the men trying to pay for sex were actually looking for sex, or if they were starved for the attention or touch of a woman.

     I also wondered what the difference is between a man approaching and soliciting a prostitute and a man paying for everything on a first, third, or fifth date. At least if a man successfully solicites a prostitute he'll get sex. A marriage certificate doesn't come with that guarantee. Yes. I know and have been told that men have to earn sex with a woman, even their wife. How does a man earn sex from his wife, by giving her everything she wants? That's not a guarantee, either. 

     What I find ironic is that many people claim that Christianity and porn are to blame for men's feelings of entitlement to sex in marriages. Can a marriage be sexless and successful? It can be if both parties agree that is what they want, but that is not often the case. 

     "My body-My choice" is the term many women use to battle men's entitlement to sex in marriages. Yet, Biblically, when a couple marries, they become one flesh. Even if a couple is not religious, there is still an expectation of sex in the husband's mind when he marries. Is that so wrong?

     I've said before that my first wife asked me why I couldn't love her without having to have sex with her. As far as I was concerned we were no longer a married couple from that point. We were acquaintances living in the same house. My wife wondered what had happened to us, and to me, it was obvious.

     From the moment my wife asked that question, we no longer kissed, held hands, or put our arms around each other. Eventually, we didn't even sleep in the same bed. The fact that my first wife had threatened spousal rape didn't help, either. 

     For the next twenty-one years, my first wife and I lived as roommates. I still had to work to provide for her and her children, yet she felt that my ignoring her was something I was doing to her. I wasn't doing anything to or with my first wife for those twenty-one years other than working and sleeping and working and sleeping.

      I was impressed that she still wanted me to confide in her, provide for and protect her, and be her husband in every way other than sexually. My first wife had no problem having sex and having children with other men, but she had a problem with me not being willing to chance prison for spousal rape.

     Many women claim that men feel entitled to sex with them, but at the same time, they feel entitled to everything a man has to offer and not have sex with him. Where, other than in women's minds, does that make sense? 

     When I hear women ask, "Is sex all men want?" I immediately answer, "No. They want kindness and empathy, someone who is helpful and cooperative. They want to be with a woman who is loyal, humble, and supportive. They want someone who is warm, tender, and affectionate. Men want to be appreciated for what they do. They want a woman who is understanding, who won't emasculate them or ridicule them. What men want is a woman who wants them to be men and will allow them to be men. Sex is usually considered a bonus.

     A woman spreading her legs does not make her attractive, desirable, or even unique. Likewise, a pretty face and body do not always equal a kind and loving heart. Yet, today, having a penis makes a man a bad person. How dare a man want to have sex with someone he has spent his life with and his resources on?

     At Medium.com, of all places, a woman by the name of Cathy Reisenwitz wrote, "Men need women more than women need men." She believes that marriage benefits men far more than it benefits women. 

    Reisenwitz states that single men are more socially isolated and lonely than married men, and the opposite is true for women. She goes on to say that single men are also less healthy and happy than married men. In contrast, Reisenwitz believes single women are healthier and happier than married women, and married men earn more money and live longer than single men, while married women earn less. Reisenwitz also states that marriage extends life expectancy more for men than women.

     According to Reisenwitz, "Women file for divorce 70% of the time in the US even though divorce greatly increases a woman’s chances of ending up a single parent and/or in poverty, but not a man’s." She does, though, admit that less than a third of women who file for divorce regret doing so. The quote I like most from Reisenwitz is, "I cannot think of a single dimension on which women benefit from marriage more than men."

     Before I begin to unpack this, I want to reiterate Reisenwitz's beliefs. "I believe it’s because a wife provides so much of everything a person needs to feel connected. She probably provides even more than the people the husband is no longer as close to. But the husband doesn’t provide very much of everything a person needs to feel connected for the wife. The wife loses the same amount of social connection as the husband when they marry, but gains less from him than he gains from her."

     I will now unpack the statements of a woman who believes "demand for labor that required physical strength declined while demand for labor that required emotional intelligence and the ability to sit still and work diligently for hours increased." this is what makes women so valuable to men. 

     Let's begin with the first claim, "Men need women more than women need men." When you talk to some women about the value of men and why they need them, they will rebut that plumbers, mechanics, electricians, bricklayers, and even men who would protect them are nothing more than servants. You can hire their services, so these men have no intrinsic or relational value. The problem with that line of thinking is men can hire women for sex, too.

     Does the fact that men can hire out for sex mean that women are their servants? No. It just means that we can pay for sex if we want to. If your car breaks down, or you need new tires, do women go to their girlfriends for help? No. They take their cars to men who can do the job. Yes, they are hiring out their services, but rarely are women mechanics or people who work with tires.

     Most men do not need women to financially support them, and if they never dated or married, they would have more of their money to spend on themselves. Men do not care how much women make or what they do for a living. Most men who want to be with women want to be with them for various reasons, but not for what they can get out of them.

     Single motherhood has taught women and many men that women can do anything a man can do, and that may be for some women, but very few. Women will say, "I had to be a mother and a father to my children," but that's impossible. Women can't be a father, and a man can't be a mother. Yet, men can do a mother's job, but rarely, if ever, can a woman do the father's job. 

     I don't think single men are more socially isolated and lonely than married men. When men marry, they often have less time to be with friends or do hobbies and work more. Supposedly, single men are also less healthy and happy than married men. Actually, it is more single men who go to the gym and are happy to have free time to do the things they want to do without someone telling them they can't or have to ask if they can.

     Single women are supposedly healthier and happier than married women, which may be why married women file for divorce 70% of the time. It is said that married men earn more money and live longer than single men, while married women earn less. Reisenwitz also states that marriage extends life expectancy more for men than women.

     Married men may have made more than their spouses in the past, but in modern times, women are making as much and often more than their spouses. When wives are making less than their husbands, that is often a choice. They'd much rather raise their children than have a stranger raise them in daycare.

     I have said before during my first marriage, I thought of deleting myself daily, and study after study has shown that women (globally) outlive men by around five years. 

     "Women file for divorce 70% of the time in the US even though divorce greatly increases a woman’s chances of ending up a single parent and/or in poverty, but not a man’s." When my first wife left me, I was homeless for a year, and most of my paychecks went to child support that was not used to support my wife's children.

    Talk to almost any man who has been divorced, and you will find that they lost almost everything in the divorce. Family courts favor women much more than men. Add child support and alimony, and you have most of a man's earnings going to a woman he no longer is married to and children he may not even get to see.

     Today, fewer men are dating, let alone getting married. Many men see marriage and women as a liability. It used to be that women's value was in their ability to bear children. Women who could not give birth were not seen as less valuable; they were seen as just as valuable because of adoption options.

     Reisenwitz says, "I cannot think of a single dimension on which women benefit from marriage more than men." That is why many men are leaving the dating scene and no longer approaching women. Many men have discovered that modern women want the power of men, the responsibility of women, and the accountability of children.

     Modern women believe that marriage or being in a committed relationship with a man results in lower earnings, lower life expectancy, eroding mental health, weakened relationships with family and friends, reduced quality of a woman’s sex life, loss of libido, immediate increase in household labor, a decrease in overall happiness and freedom, and elevated risk of trauma, depression, anxiety, and exposure to abuse and violence.

     One thing I am hearing more often lately is that married women find it harder to be sexually exclusive than most married men. Many married women feel that they settled when they married. A good number of women today believe that when they are married, their husbands get free labor and more downtime, earn more, and get more sex while their wives experience a decline in libido and sexual quality. 

     Until about seventy years ago, men complained that women were frigid. Now women are complaining men don't want to have sex with them. When women emasculate and demean men, they can't expect their men to be as into them as they'd like. Men are and have been looked down on for far too long, and men have gotten tired of it.

     Men have been taught to "put up, shut up, and deal with it," and they do. Today, though, many men are going their own way because women require too much of them and give nothing in return except negativity, emasculation, griping, complaining, and when divorcing, take almost everything a man has. Studies have shown that women are usually happier after a divorce than men.

     I have to ask why wives experience a decline in libido and sexual quality, as opposed to single women. The main reason is that women who have a higher libido desire more sex with men who excite them. Women who are married to men who do not turn them on or excite them will often look for men who do.

     The decline in sexual quality often stems from boredom, in the wife or the husband. Yet, more men stay in sexless marriages than women and cheat less often. Of course, single women are happier and healthier than married women,
they're having sex with men they are attracted to without having to be accountable for their actions.

     More men are willing to forgo sex if the women they are with are feminine. I will reiterate what I said earlier. Men want kindness and empathy, someone who is helpful and cooperative. They want to be with a woman who is loyal, humble, and supportive. They want someone who is warm, tender, and affectionate. Men want to be appreciated for what they do. They want a woman who is understanding, who won't emasculate them or ridicule them. What men want is a woman who wants them to be men and will allow them to be men.

     When women are feminine, men find them attractive and want to be with them. 70% of divorces are initiated by women who feel that the men they married didn't fulfill them or make them happy. Traditionally, men are willing to lay down their lives for women because they offer something special. When women try to be men's equals, they are no longer special because men see these masculine women as men and treat them as such, which many women see as discrimination.

     To answer the question, "Is sex all men want?" you have to ask, as a woman, what more are you offering? If sex is all you have to offer a man, then that is what he will want. If you bring more to the table, then he has more to choose from. So, if you are asking if all men want is sex, you have to ask, "What more can I offer them?"   

     Trust is so easy to lose and so tough to regain. More often than not, once you lose someone's trust, you can never get it back again. A person with trust issues will never forget the time you betrayed their trust. In an intimate relationship, trust is vital. When trust doesn't exist, the relationship may continue, but it can never be the same.

     People can pretend to trust you if it benefits them, but they will always expect you to betray them again.

Agreeing To Disagree

          I'd just published my second book: SEXUAL PREFERENCE SEXUAL CHOICE-A Challenge To The "Born That Way" Theory. And my wife and I were at the nudist resort where I mentioned my book to a woman we'd not meet before. She stated that she was reading a book on the difference between naturism and social nudity. This woman was in her early seventies. She told us that the book she was reading was teaching her about her true self. She mentioned that she wasn't as comfortable with social nudity as she was being naked by herself.

          When this woman asked me what my book was about, I told her that the premise was that we all make choices every minute of every day, and those choices sometimes are regarding sex. I could tell that talking about my book, or just the mention of sex, made her feel uncomfortable. I tried to tell her that what I was saying was that, even sexually people make choices. She got out of the hot tub a few minutes later.

          The man that had referred the book this woman was reading was more than open about what that book talked about and how some nudists are swingers and that somewhere in France, there is a nudist community that at night has sex parties. It was weird that this other guy talking about nudists and sex parties was okay, but me talking about personal responsibility and owning our choices made her uncomfortable.

          It wasn't until the next day that this all made sense. We saw the same woman at the hot tub the following day. She wasn't with the guy she had been with the day prior. She was cordial, but she was still a little stand-offish. She admitted the reason she left the hot tub the day before was that she disagreed with what I was saying. I asked this woman what she disagreed with. She said that her daughter would be pissed at me for what I said. She then admitted that her daughter had come out as bisexual two weeks ago, then just a week ago came out as a lesbian.

          I told this woman that was what my book was about, people making choices, even when it comes to sex. She then said that her daughter would disagree with me. When I asked this woman what her daughter would disagree with, she said, "Sexual orientation isn't a choice, you're born that way. I looked at my wife, and she just smiled and tilted her head. I tried not to laugh. I was going to try to reason with this woman, but something told me that my book, and what it was about, hit too close to home for her.

          This woman's daughter was exactly the reason I wrote SEXUAL PREFERENCE SEXUAL CHOICE-A Challenge To The "Born That Way" Theory. And I think that my book could have helped this woman better understand her daughter and the choices she had made. After this woman left the hot tub area, I realized that it wasn't the topic of my book that bothered her the most, it was that she was learning about herself, and she had her daughter's situation on her mind at the same time. Then I had to show up.

          This woman was learning about herself, and she was also trying to figure out how to deal with her daughter and her new sexual orientation. I guess that's a lot to deal with. And then to have someone come along and say that they've written a book about the same thing she was going through didn't make sense to her. This woman was uncomfortable being naked around others at a nudist resort, her daughter had recently come out as a lesbian, and I was naked, too. Where do you go from there?

          I still believe that my book could have/would have helped this woman, but she disagreed. Here was a classic case of agreeing to disagree. You can't force a person to learn something they don't want to learn. Yet, I'm still holding out hope that the next time we see her at the nudist resort, she won't mind us being nude.

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          Women into cuckolding want to please their husbands or boyfriends, and they know the best way to do that is to be the slut their husbands or boyfriends want them to be. Most Bulls are experienced men who know how to please a woman and how a cuckold relationship works. Therefore, many Bulls will push the wife's or girlfriend's limits and boundaries to enhance the experience for the couple. Wives and girlfriends into cuckolding know that a great sexual experience is what their cuckold wants and expects, and by doing more for their lovers they are ensuring their cuckold's happiness, physical pleasure, and mental stability.

          Many cuckolds see their wives or girlfriends doing more for other men as erotic sexual denial. A husband and wife may not deep kiss, or the wife may not give her husband oral sex, but she'll do both with lovers. This is and can be seen as erotic sexual denial. Often it is not the wife's or girlfriend's intent to deny her primary partner, but it happens. And the experience can be exciting and sexually satisfying for the husband or boyfriend and the wife or girlfriend. 

          In some cases, a wife or girlfriend does things with other men she doesn't do with her primary partner because the lover can do something her primary partner can't. A wife or girlfriend may have sex in different sexual positions with a lover or lovers because they have the penis length that her primary partner doesn't. Double penetration is something that can only be done if both men have longer cocks. This is not usually possible if a man has a shorter penis. A husband or boyfriend may envy the other man or other men, but he is never hurt because his wife does something with other men she doesn't do with him.

     There is also something called NRE (New Relationship Energy) that will often make a woman do more with another man or other men. Even though she may not have a relationship with the other man or other men, the same energy is there, making her want to do for them what she may not do with her primary partner. Much like humiliation is often a part of cuckolding, a wife or girlfriend doing more for other men is often another part of cuckolding that just happens. The husband or boyfriend may not get from his wife or girlfriend what other men get, but the other men likely don't get it anywhere else. No matter the reason, rarely do you ever hear the other men or the husband or boyfriend complaining.         

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    For a cuckold relationship to be a cuckold relationship, the wife or girlfriend has to have sex with other Men, preferably big cocked Men. A successful cuckold relationship consists of a couple who communicates well, and other Men who are willing to make the couple's relationship better by having sex with the wife or girlfriend.

     It is usually women who are hesitant to have sex outside their relationship because of slut shaming by other women, but once they experience what other Men have to offer, they realize it is for the best.

 Once a wife or girlfriend has sex with other Men, she usually wants sex more often. The wife or girlfriend wants to make her husband or boyfriend happy, and she knows that having sex with other Men makes him happy. Nothing compares to the look on a wife or girlfriend's face when she knows she's going to have sex with Real Men.

     Having an attitude of gratitude is important because it shifts your focus from yourself to appreciating someone else. To develop an attitude of gratitude, it’s important to surround yourself with people who also have a gratitude mindset. Today, less than fifty percent of men are getting sex regularly, and those who can get sex with another man's wife or girlfriend are often the most grateful.

     It is true that other Men will always see your wife or girlfriend at her best, and she'll be her best while she is with them. When a wife or girlfriend has sex with other Men, her love for her primary partner increases, as well as her appreciation for him. Most women in cuckold relationships understand that it is because of their husband or boyfriend that they are getting the incredible sex they're getting from other Men.

     As a cuckold, you learn what other Men can do for your relationship, and for your wife or girlfriend. It is often only when she is with other Men that you see her in a state of bliss.

     There’s evidence to suggest that being grateful, despite your circumstances, can improve every area of your life, and can bring in more to be grateful for. 

     The wife or girlfriend of a cuckold can open her mouth and legs in gratitude for what her husband or boyfriend has given her, and her lovers are usually very grateful for the opportunity to do for her what her husband or boyfriend can't.

      Grateful people have better relationships, and being able to recognize the good that someone else brings to your life can help you appreciate that person more. 

     A woman who is encouraged to have sex with other Men will often be the most grateful to her husband of boyfriend. Amid the chaos we face both in our daily grind and in our society, we all need someone to enrich our lives.

     I make it a point to always verbally, orally, thank my wife's lovers when they make love to her. I tell them that without them, our lives would not be as exciting or happy. When my wife hears me thank her lovers, it makes her want to do more for them to show her gratitude.

     Many men see it as unfair when a wife does more for a lover than she does for her primary partner, but when other Men are willing to take time out of their day to have sex with your wife or girlfriend, they deserve it.

       With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. In the process, people usually recognize that the source of that goodness lies at least partially outside themselves. As a result, being grateful also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals. 

     In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, and build strong relationships. 

     Wives and girlfriends who are allowed to have sex with other Men will often show their gratitude and have sex with other Men often, or regularly, and by doing so, give their primary partner a reason to be thankful for what he has. 

     Remember that behavior changes biology. Positive gestures benefit you by releasing oxytocin, a hormone that helps connect people. Some people call it the love hormone. 

     When you verbally or orally thank your wife's or girlfriend's lover(s), they benefit from that thankfulness. After all, who doesn't like to be thanked for their efforts or just for being who they are? 

    When your wife's or girlfriend's lover(s) feel appreciated, they release something as well, which also releases oxytocin, which helps them and your wife or girlfriend feel and be more connected.

     People have reported feeling more loved and more connected to others in their lives when they routinely practice gratitude.

     When a wife or girlfriend is happy, it's obvious!

     Too often men wonder how to make their wife or girlfriend happy, and in reality, it's not that tough. Women often just want to feel appreciated and useful.

    Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and a stranger into a friend.  

     Gratitude is also important to forming and maintaining social relationships. When you engage with someone and express gratitude for them, they are in turn more likely to express gratitude in return. 

     The expression of gratitude is what helps us form new relationships and strengthen our current ones. Studies have shown the positive effect of a wife's or girlfriend's extra intimate relationships on a couple's emotional well-being, and it is one more added benefit of a wife or girlfriend having lovers.  

     Thankfulness is about the present interaction-Gratitude improves the long-term relationship: You may feel thankful to someone at the moment, but gratitude is an ongoing showing of appreciation in your relationships. Practicing gratitude in your relationships will bring you closer to the ones you love.  

     There is no right or wrong way to practice gratitude. 

     Gratitude should be an external expression of your own thankfulness, and many people find physical acts of gratitude increase and maintain their happiness on a long-term basis.